Demi Lovato comes out as non-binary and changes pronouns to they/them after split from fiancé Max Ehrich
DEMI Lovato has come out as non-binary and changed their pronouns to they/them.
The 28-year-old singer – who called off their engagement to Max Ehrich in September – said the change “best represents” the “fluidity” of their “gender expression”.
Non-binary people do not identify as male or female, and tend not to conform to gender norms of either.
Demi – who came out as pansexual in March – wrote on Instagram: “Every day we wake up, we are given another opportunity and chance to be who we want and wish to be.
“I’ve spent the majority of my life growing in front of all of you… you’ve seen the good, the bad, and everything in between. Not only has my life been a journey for myself, I was also living for those on the other side of the cameras.
“Today is a day I’m so happy to share more of my life with you all – I am proud to let you know that I identify as non-binary and will officially be changing my pronouns to they/them moving forward.”
The singer added: “This has come after a lot of healing and self-reflective work. I’m still learning and coming into myself, and I don’t claim to be an expert or a spokesperson.
“Sharing this with you now opens another level of vulnerability for me. I’m doing this for those out there that haven’t been able to share who they truly are with their loved ones.
“Please keep living in your truths and know I am sending so much love your way.”
Demi also shared a teaser for their new podcast series 4D, in which they explained: “Over the past year and a half, I’ve been doing some healing and self-reflective work.”
They went on: “And through this work I have had the revelation that I identify as non-binary. With that said, I’ll officially be changing my pronouns to they/them.
“I feel that this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression, and allows me to feel most authentic and true to the person I both know I am and still am discovering.
“I want to make it clear that I am still learning and coming into myself. I don’t claim to be an expert or a spokesperson.”
The Disney alum talked about coming out in the first episode of 4D during a chat with gender non-conforming writer and artist Alok Vaid-Menon.
Demi said they had a “visceral reaction” to Alok’s comments about being non-binary.
The singer – who met Alok through non-binary singer Sam Smith – said: “In 2018, when I overdosed, I feel like the reason why that happened was because I was ignoring my truth.
“I was suppressing who I really am in order to please stylists or team members or even fans that wanted me to be the sexy feminine popstar in a leotard and look a certain way, I thought that was what I was supposed to be.
“Now I realise it’s so much more important to live your truth than to ever suppress yourself because that’s the kind of stuff that happens when you do.”
They continued: “There’s nothing more freeing for me than to be unattached to a role that society wants me to play. I fully believe that gender is just another boundary that separates humanity from divine wisdom.”
The Dancing With The Devil singer made it clear that being non-binary doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be femme-presenting sometimes.
“There might be a time where I wanna wear a full wig, there might be a time where I want to dress completely femme presenting,” they said.
“That doesn’t mean that in that moment, I’m identifying as a woman, it just means that’s what I want to wear in that moment. I want people to understand that just because I’m non-binary, doesn’t mean I’m not going to dress the way I want.”
Demi added that they will be “accepting” of people who “slip up” and don’t use their correct pronouns.
They said: “To me it would mean the world if people could start identifying me as they/them. I will also be accepting if people slip and say her/she, because I know being in my position, it’s going to take a while for people to get used to. I just want them to be making the effort.
“I think it’s important because I want to use these pronouns to feel right to me; I also just don’t want people to be so afraid of messing up that they don’t try to use them.”
Demi’s announcement comes two months after they came out as pansexual on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast – a term which means they are attracted to all genders.
The 28-year-old also said they are a part of the “alphabet mafia,” which refers to the LGBTQIA+ community.
As for having any children, the entertainer told: “I used to. I think if anything I want to adopt. I was engaged to a man last year. I totally thought I’d be married, maybe pregnant by now. And that’s not the case.
“I also don’t know if I’m going to end up with a guy, so I can’t really see myself maybe getting pregnant. I’m so fluid now – and a part of the reason why I am so fluid is because I was super closeted off.”
Podcast host Joe then clarified that they mean “sexually fluid” and that they are interested in both women and men, and Demi replied, “Yeah – anything really.”
Demi recalled how they felt when they first realized they were also attracted to women, saying, “I felt a lot of shame because growing up in Texas as a Christian that’s very frowned upon.
“Any attraction I had to a female at a young age, I shut it down before I even let myself process what I was feeling.”
Demi and The Young and The Restless actor Max Ehrich split in the fall – just months after getting engaged in quarantine.
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The actor said on Instagram after the break-up: “Imagine finding out the status of your relationship through a tabloid.”
He also accused Demi of “using him” in a “calculated PR stunt” following their breakup.
Before Max, Demi dated an array of high-profile men such as fellow Disney Channel stars Cody Linley and Joe Jonas, and That ’70s Show star Wilmer Valderrama.
Fans have learned plenty of personal things about Demi due to their new eight part docuseries, Dancing with the Devil, which also touches on their 2018 near fatal drug overdose.
