Taylor Swift Opens Up About Experiencing an Eating Disorder in Netflix Documentary “Miss Americana”
In her upcoming Netflix documentary Miss Americana, Taylor Swift opens up about her past experience with disordered eating, and how all of the body pressure people — particularly women — in the public eye face would prompt a “real shame/hate spiral.”
According to Variety, Taylor talks in the documentary for the first time about her body image issues, and how that influenced her eating earlier in her career. She told Variety in an exclusive interview that her relationship with food was unhealthy, and that she applied the same reward-based thinking to it that she did everything else in her life.
“I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine. And the headline was like ‘Pregnant at 18?’ And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment,” Taylor said. “And then I’d walk into a photo shoot and be in the dressing room and somebody who worked at a magazine would say, ‘Oh, wow, this is so amazing that you can fit into the sample sizes. Usually we have to make alterations to the dresses, but we can take them right off the runway and put them on you!’ And I looked at that as a pat on the head. You register that enough times, and you just start to accommodate everything towards praise and punishment, including your own body.”
In the film, Taylor said that the endless body criticism in media and online contributed to that type of thinking, according to Variety.
“If you’re thin enough, then you don’t have that ass that everybody wants,” she says in the film. “But if you have enough weight on you to have an ass, your stomach isn’t flat enough. It’s all just f—ing impossible.”
Taylor goes on to describe the negative impacts that disordered eating had on her physically in the film.
“I thought that I was supposed to feel like I was going to pass out at the end of a show, or in the middle of it,” she says in the documentary. “Now I realize, no, if you eat food, have energy, get stronger, you can do all these shows and not feel (enervated).”
Now, Taylor said she tries to pick and choose what voices she allows to resonate with her. Instead of taking in criticisms about her body, she reflects on the words of people like Jameela Jamil and Brené Brown. Taylor said Brené’s Netflix special helped her frame her thinking on whose opinions she takes seriously, and whose she lets go of.
“She was saying something like, ‘It’s ridiculous to say “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me,” because that’s not possible. But you can decide whose opinions matter more and whose opinions you put more weight on.’ And I think that is really part of growing up, if you’re going to do it right,” Taylor said. “That’s part of hoping to find some sort of maturity and balance in your life.”
Despite a lot of hard things happening in her life, Taylor said she’s happy now. “I pick and choose now, for the most part, what I care deeply about,” she said. “And I think that’s made a huge difference.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, NEDA’s toll-free, confidential helpline (800-931-2237) is here to help: Monday-Thursday from 9AM to 9PM EST and Friday 9AM to 5PM. NEDA’s helpline volunteers offer support and basic information, locate treatment options in your area, and can help you find answers to any questions you may have.
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Source:teenvogue.coms
