Singles’ Day: Three women explain why they’re happily self-partnered

Singles’ Day, the annual holiday championing those that are unattached, has become the world’s biggest online and offline shopping event since it originated in China in the 90s.

The day of recognition is said to have been coined by a group of student in Nanjing University in 1993, as a celebration of being uncoupled – effectively, an anti-Valentine’s Day.

Chinese e-commerce platform Alibaba later capitalised on the day as a shopping occasion.

The holiday has grown in popularity in the UK over the past few years and today reports predict Singles’ Day will generate £1.3 billion in UK sales. Numerous retailers slash prices to mark the annual event, including ASOS, Amazon and Sports Direct.

Meanwhile, Singles’ Day is still going stronger than ever for the southeast Asian market: in its first hour of trading alone today, Singles’ Day has raked in £11 billion on Alibaba.

While Singles’ Day has evolved into what’s predominantly considered a shopping event, the idea of being “happily single” is by no means over.

It was recently addressed by Emma Watson, who described herself as “self-partnered” in a British Vogue interview.

To celebrate the “single and proud” philosophy behind Singles’ Day, we spoke to three women on why they’re happy with their solo status.

“I don’t want to lower my standards”

Katilena, 50, hasn't had a serious relationship for 11 years. [Photo: Supplied] — Katilena, 50, hasn’t had a serious relationship for 11 years. [Photo: Supplied]

Katilena Alpe, 50, is a widow with 12-year-old twins. She’s been single for 11 years.

Alpe says she has “truly enjoyed being single”, a state she associates with “freedom” and “not having to be with a man and look after his every wish”. Alpe, a PR executive who lives between Athens and London says she finds it “liberating” being single.

She has a close circle of friends – “half single, half married” – whom she’s known since she was at school and are a “big part of [her] life”.

She has also made a number of friendships through her tennis club and her life-coaching group.

Despite loving her present lifestyle, Alpe never expected to be single. She was happily married for 22 years until her husband’s “untimely death” from a heart attack when she was 39.

The pair met when Alpe was just 18, and enjoyed a “whirlwind romance”, marrying the same year. They enjoyed their independence as a married couple – something that she’s never been able to find with any partners since.

“I don’t know if I could be in a long-term relationship right now,” she says. “I’m so comfortable with my life with my kids.”

Some five years ago, Alpe dipped her toe in the dating waters – but found the notion of being answerable to someone else “suffocating”.

“I kept being asked, ‘Why are you spending so much time with your friends? Why haven’t you called in five hours?’ It was suffocating,” she explains.

Since then, Alpe feels no rush to get into a long-term relationship.

“People say to me, ‘You have to lower your standards,’ but I’m not prepared to do that, and that’s my choice. If someone comes along who fits my lifestyle, I might consider it. But for now I’m perfectly happy.”