Even Idris Elba, Star of ‘Cats,’ Doesn’t Know What the ‘Cats’ Movie Is About

Remember that fuzzy stretch of time about a month ago—okay, it was really two weeks ago, but it feels like AGES ago—when the Cats trailer rolled into our collective consciousness for better worse or for worse? If we’re honest, the trailer left us with way more questions than answers. And as it turns out, we aren’t alone! Idris Elba, who legit stars in Cats, doesn’t actually know what Cats is about either—and TBH, that makes me feel pretty damn good about myself!

During an appearance on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Colbert naturally saw it fit to ask Idris for a summary of this mind-boggling movie. “Ah, wow,” Idris said. “What a way to throw me under the bus there!” After trying to find the right words, Idris managed to come up with the basic facts: “It’s a classic. It’s a big musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. I guess it’s about a cat? How am I doing?” I’m sorry, Idris, sweetie, but that answer gets you a solid 5/10.

“It’s one cat’s journey toward what is essentially Cat Heaven,” Idris continued, trying to redeem himself. “The idea is we all…you know, we aspire to get toward Cat Heaven. It’s this young cat…and she gets sort of…you know…taken on this story about how to get to Cat Heaven. Or what you should do to get into Cat Heaven. How am I doing? Does anyone know what the story is?!” No, no one knows what the story is, Idris!!! You know, one would think that after Idris read the script, assumed the role, and attended CAT SCHOOL to secure his degree in feline behavior, he would have more of an understanding of the plot. I guess not! See Idris struggle to find the words, below:

Of his feline studies, Idris said that director Tom Hooper wanted him and the rest of the class to sign up for the “cat classes.” You cannot make this sh*t up! “He wanted the actors to really embody the feline persona—the vibe,” Idris said. Apparently, there was a whole cat school enrollment where the cast was educated by a cat expert. This cat expert was also an “expert at how humans should play cats” and acted as their (feline aficionado? pussy professor?) teacher while filming.

“That’s a job?!” Colbert asked, understandably in disbelief. “She’s been waiting forever for this movie to be made!” I wonder—has this cat expert seen the Catstrailer? Does she know more about the film than Idris does? I…just wanna talk.